Search Options Audio Text. A Wisdom basic book. “Almost all people descend to meet,” Emerson says. These days we talk a lot about “relationships.” The word usually suggests romantic relationship, but we might also mean our connections with parents, children, siblings, and colleagues. But Meghiya’s meditation was anything but peaceful and beautiful. Spiritual friendship is less about personal connection than it is about helping one another grow in faith and goodness—to realize, as we say in Zen, our true nature. Perhaps Emerson is a bit too idealistic. Like reading spiritual books. Grounded in the Buddha’s teachings on spiritual friendship, Radical Friendship shares seven strategies to help us embody our deepest values in all of our relationships. I cannot recommend this classic textbook on the history of Buddhism highly enough. 39 Malcolm Place Campbellfield Victoria 3061 Australia [Phone: +61 3 9357 7266 Email: email@samadhivihara.org.au Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life - The Buddha. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. We often think of spiritual teachers as parents or authority figures. And over time in community life we come to have such inspiring friendships with others who support and love us in the same way. The friendships are not based on discrimination - preferring one person over another - but on good hearts. "e;Spiritual friendship is the whole of the spiritual life"e; - The Buddha. And you know they will last a lifetime, even if you live continents apart. free buddhist audio offers free mp3 downloads of lectures and talks on buddhism and meditation Nothing is more intimate, nothing more lovely, than friendship. Published in The Tibetan Dhammapada. That is why the buddha of the coming era is called Maitreya, the buddha of the practice of friendship. Rank was established solely on the basis of seniority, without regard to wealth, social position, or even skill in practice. Practicing Buddhism View more Daily Practice The basic Buddhist practice of Soka Gakkai members is chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, reciting portions of the Lotus Sutra and sharing the teachings of Buddhism with others in order to help them become happy. Life in a sangha is built on teaching, dedicated meditation practice, and a shared commitment to going beyond self-interest and personal need. But in the meantime, we slowly get to know one another intimately in the silent space of the meditation hall. Third, frequent conversation that inspires and encourages practice. Sitting chest-deep in the tub, they must have looked around at one another with beautiful smiles of acknowledgment, saying, no doubt, nothing at all. I have to work on healing the causes within myself of this breach of kindness. “No, Ananda,” the Buddha told him, “having good friends isn’t half of the Holy Life. A noble friend will be able to offer guidance and instruction and also to be able to offer criticism where appropriate - as well as friendship and encouragement. The Buddha turned to Ananda, rebuking him mildly with the words, “Don’t say that, Ananda. Emerson called it “the masterpiece of Nature.” That we and our friends can communicate intimately with one another and support each other unselfishly come what may—this truly is a masterpiece of Nature, and one of our brightest human achievements. E-mail: amcglynn19822004@yahoo.co.uk These two support each other. Can you lend your support to Lion’s Roar at this critical time? Life in a sangha is built on teaching, dedicated meditation practice, and a shared commitment to going beyond self-interest and personal need. Kindness, respect and shared joy in Dharma are the stuff these friendships are made of. Gift Aid: Giving extra via Gift Aid is for residents of the UK only or those who pay tax in the UK. Yet this disparate group of people manages to find harmony, commonality, and deep mutual appreciation despite their differences. Sign up for Lion’s Roar free email newsletters. We [...], © 2020 Lion's Roar | Email: [email protected] | Tel: 902.422.8404 | Published by Lion's Roar Foundation, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window). Suddenly they awakened to the basis of water. According to the Buddha, friends who encourage you to indulge in sinful actions or who trouble you with deception and dishonesty are definitely not your friends, but your enemies since they increase the burden of your karma and contribute to your moral and spiritual downfall. But the more we are established in our practice, the more we understand that the support our spiritual friends provide is the most fundamental and the most healing kind: gentle encouragement to awaken. In ordinary friendships we might connect right away, with lots to share and learn from one another. Talk 1 - What is the Spiritual Life? And so there was actually this very political dimension to this spiritual friendship between these two leaders. Unable to stand the fullness of the other, we don’t want to discover and offer our own. The Triratna Buddhist Order is the focal-point of the community, and is a network of friendships between individuals who have made personal commitments to the Buddha, the dharma and the sangha, in communion with others. He believes that our relationships with teachers and fellow practitioners must be characterised by honesty and clear communication. Why do so many discussions of Buddhism overlook it? Sometimes we might expect or ask for more emotional or material support from our community than we seem to be getting. And if I find I am lacking in tenderness, speaking what I consider to be truth out of defensiveness or separateness, I have to discern this. To be sure, this ideal isn’t always practiced very well. Love can’t be exclusive. It tells the story of the eager young monk Meghiya, who wanted to practice meditation alone in an especially peaceful and beautiful mango grove. After Iowa we moved, independently, to California, where we practiced Zen together for a decade under our teacher, Sojun Mel Weitsman. He also stresses the value of friendships with peers, in particular having at least one friend (not a lover) with whom we can be intimate and completely open. For all those years, Alan supported, loved, and respected me more than I supported, loved, and respected myself. How does it support our spiritual growth? What we call a person is in reality a series of interactions and relationships. Ajahn talks about how Kalyanamitta means something much more profound than a good friend, it is someone who supports you in your spiritual life in all sorts of ways. While at first we may be intimidated by the teacher, imagining him or her to be far more spiritually developed than we are, as time goes on the teacher transforms from a scary boss to a trusted friend. Membership of a spiritual community consists not in adherence to a list of abstract propositions, but in participation in a common spirit, and this spirit can only be adequately experienced in friendship. “What a disappointment is actual society!” Real friendship, he says, includes the depth of solitude of each of us. The Meghiya Sutta is my favorite Pali text about friendship. His practice and loving heart was, and remains, my inspiration. In most strands of Buddhism, it is more common to refer to spiritual “friends,” rather than to “directors,” “guides,” or even “teachers.” These friends encourage and allow us to evolve, such that the Buddha was reported to have said that spiritual friendship is the sum total of the spiritual life (in the Meghiya Sutta of the Pali Canon). Spritual Friendship, Dhamma (Dharma talk) by Ajahn Sucitto, Buddhism, Buddha, Meditation. Saccanama explores the three myths of spiritual life, that of self-development, that of self-surrender, and that of self-discovery. So much comes of it. As he was sitting there, Ven. Buddhism and Friendship offers practical ways for us to cultivate, deepen and extend our friendships, so that they can inspire and shape our spiritual lives. In Buddhism, friendship is an extremely important factor, perhaps even more so than you might expect. In his essay on friendship, sixteenth-century French writer Michel de Montaigne compares friendship to all other human relationship and finds it superior. When one has a spiritual friend, a spiritual intimate, a spiritual partner it can be expected that he will develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Pathû.' In his essay on friendship, Emerson writes, “The laws of friendship are great, austere, and eternal, of one web with the laws of nature and of morals… but we seek our friends not sacredly but with an adulterated passion.”. In Buddhism, friendship is an extremely important factor, perhaps even more so than you might expect. Friendship ripens and deepens our capacity for compassion. Our intimacy was one in which others were always welcome. We share the sound of our voices joined in chanting. Topics: Friendship, Lion's Roar - May '16, Love & Relationships, Norman Fischer, Sangha / Community, Teachings, Zen, We’re glad to have you here. In big Chan monasteries of China, there were no private bathrooms. This friendship is built on a deep respect for the teacher's knowledge and the student's potential, and, through this respect and friendship, the two individuals learn constructive behaviour. For those on the bodhisattva path, loving and appreciating your friends, even when they are difficult, as they sometimes are, is the path’s fullness and completion. This is normal and healthy. In traditional schools of Buddhist thought, a spiritual friendship is a friendship not between one's peers, but a friendship between a student and their spiritual teacher. The schedule provided for bath time, when everyone filed into the bathhouse to take a bath together in the big tub. But we don’t hear so much about friendship. When Meghiya rushed back to report his confusing experience, Buddha was not surprised. Sangha friendships are forged and grounded in silence. They have courage, they take risks, and they speak from the standpoint of truthfulness, not expediency. People new to Buddhism often take the Dharma to be a purely individual path of spiritual development. Community and friendship is all the more important as western society becomes increasingly fragmented – with so many people living isolated from one another, whether in ‘nuclear’ families, or as individuals living alone. To be able to practice with good friends for five, ten, twenty, thirty, or forty years is a special joy. It never depends on division or discrimination between people. He described 4 different types of friends we meet and should seek: the helper, the friend who endures in good times and bad, the mentor, and the compassionate friend. This teaching has many practical consequences within the Triratna Buddhist Community. And clear communication the Order he himself founded – to be a in... And care absolutely for our ultimate welfare our own altar is a teacher. And recite the bathing verse silent space of the spiritual path essential, frameworks! The whole of spiritual life - the Buddha believed it vital for spiritual growth to have a discussion! ( Dharma talk ) by Ajahn Sucitto, Buddhism retains this emphasis on equality and inclusion purely path! Buddhist path, spiritual friendship is the whole of spiritual friendship '' and how members experience in! 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